Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Worst Album Of The Decade: The Stooges "The Weirdness"


okay so i know there are still over 8 months left in this decade before it's officially over and done with...but i challenge any artists out there to release a more pointless, shameful, and career soiling record than 2007's The Weirdness by Iggy Pop and The Stooges. as far as reunions go, i feel like it's fine to get together and play shows if you can still deliver the goods live...but when it comes to going back into the studio and trying to recapture that old "magic"...just leave good enough alone. it's probably for the better that Ron died so that they can't do a follow up album...that is unless Iggy pulls James Williamson out of obscurity (is he even alive? i have no clue.)

here's the review i wrote for this flaming pile of shit back when it came out:


i have entitled the following review: No Fun

so i bought the new Stooges' record when it came out, against the better judgement of my brain. let’s see, where do i start? uh, yeah this is hard for me.

the Stooges were one of the first "real" punk bands i ever got into in highschool after going through my early discoveries of the roots of Nirvana and all the alternative bands i was jamming out to at 14 or 15. i think Raw Power was the first thing i ever got and immediately realized how much more awesome The Stooges were than Greenday could possibly dream of achieving. is their a song more balls out awesome than Search and Destroy? i mean "i’m a Street walking cheeta with a heart full of Napalm" how fucking awesome is that? easily the greatest first line in any song that has ever been written. how better can you say, "i am a fucking badass" than that? Iggy was instantly my hero and everything i would ever judge any frontman by for the rest of my life. i mean Iggy Pop at the 40 watt with a bunch of dickheads from guitarcenter as his backing band is one of the best shows i’ve ever seen in my life, just watching a 50 year old guy in better shape than i will ever hope to be rocking out and leaping around and doing Raw Power pretty much puts to shame every fucking lame garage band that i’d end up seeing over the next couple of years.

when i first read about The Stooges getting back together i was originally excited, i mean the chance to get to see a reunited Stooges didn’t at all scare me off like it usually does when old guys who haven’t played together in 20 plus years (scratch that, 30 plus years) wanna cash in on the past, mostly cuz Iggy was so good when i saw him and i figured Iggy with the The Stooges would be like that but crank the awesome level up to 10…and from what everyone who has seen them at festivals and reunion shows has told me, they are still fucking awesome.

when i read that they were gonna go into the studio and record a new album, their first since 1972, well then i got nervous. i mean a reunion tour is one thing but new shit…well we know how that always goes. and so here it is, The Stooges have put out The Weirdness in 2007…just that title itself sends up a warning flare. oh shit, what am i getting myself into? the all Black Album cover is yelling at me "this is a spinal tap moment dude, run for the hills. go listen to Fun House, you don’t need this shit." but then that other voice is saying, "you only buy about 8 albums a year dude, this is one of your top 5 favorite bands of all time, besides if Sonic Youth and Mission Of Burma can still put out quality albums then so can the Stooges”
" and so i lay down my cash and bring it home…load it up onto the itunes (obviously we live in the future now and i can’t be bothered with cd players) and so i sit down and begin to listen to the Weirdness….and oh god, it’s so so so so so so....dumb. the Dumbness, i’ve redubbed it. and i mean i am a guy who appreciates stupidity in rock n roll. if you ever heard my old band you’d know that. but this, this is something else. this screams of the one thing that bites anybody who is older than my dad and trying to play rock music….out of touch, not that the Stooges ever needed to be in touch, i mean rock n roll is rock n roll….but come on, "I see your hair as energy/ My dick is growing tall as a tree" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? are you serious? and songs about ATMs…this is beyond stupid. this is so much worse. it’s fucking lame. lame lame lame. oh god, why? and Ron Asheton…what are you doing? you played freakout free jazz on Funhouse and invented punk rock with "no fun" and “i wanna be your dog” and now you’re playing the weakest punk riffs this side of Lagwagon. seriously, this isn’t the Stooges, this is fucking pointless. "my idea of fun is killing everyone" come on Iggy, even Trent Reznor wouldn't commit something that fucking childish and retarded to tape. Iggy fucking references Dr. Phil on the song "mexican guy"....NO!!!!!!!!!! godfuckingdamnitiggypop! you have just George Lucased me.

i’ve listened to the record twice through and done a couple of run through on the stand out songs trying to find something worth salvaging…something that won’t make me puke in my mouth or would sound good on a mix cd hidden inbetween "tv eye" and "tight pants" but i got nothing. this just…well it Sucks. this album sucks. fuck.

on a scale of 1 to 10 this has got to be a 3....and it only gets that for a couple of choice freakouts and some killer saxophone on a couple of songs. if you LOVE the Stooges then avoid this like AIDS. seriously, i might delete this from my itunes and shelve this record hidden somewhere where i’ll never find it just so it doesn’t infect the rest of my record collection. oh Iggy, say it ain’t so. The Stooges are dead, long live the Stooges.


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